Thanks to everyone who made my Birthday week so awesome.

On Monday,Yap, Tim lam, Abiel, Toby, Noel and Gab watched Ironman with me. Delphia bought me dinner. And I had a slice of cake with a candle on it! Very nice =)

Tuesday Noel, Abiel and I played pool for a short while. Had dinner with Soaps. Good catching up there.

Wednesday Haiks had lunch with me. Had dinner with the Lee family. Awesome stuff.

Thursday I met Soaps for lunch again. Had dinner with Cindy, Daena, Tim W, Ming Wei and Megan. Chinatown food FTW man.

Friday Audrey bought me lunch. I was so stuffed from all the food I was still quite full at 8pm. But dinner was good. Zhong, Bubbs, Garry, Chua, Poh, Tim W and Nuraini humoured me with Chinatown porridge. Thank you Chua, Poh and Zhong for the T-shirt and the car air-freshener. Truly Oldschool Singapore at Shinatown =) And I had a slice of cake with a candle on top too! 

So my birthday festival is nearly over haha. My my, have I indulged myself or what eh. Sunday I still have lunch with Sharksfin Abalone. Monday there's a barbeque. Wednesday there's KTV.

Oh yes, many thanks to everyone who smsed me; 

Shanny
Kristin
Ruth and Sarah
Ming Wei
Cheryl Koh
Shengky
Darryl
Boss
KC
Glenn
Michelle
JD
Helsa
Heather
Lila
Zach
Gab
Janice
Daena
Sam Yew
Nicole Chua
Ian Kwan
Yipeng

Thanks a bunch. Every single sms or IM is very much appreciated.

Seth

This is really weird =S

Ok sometimes i really don't know when something is for me and when something isn't. Maybe it never was in the first place? It's actually ok for me i guess; just want to catch up and stuff really.

It's been a week since I blogged. Getting busier and busier. Hope to do more business cos of my targets. Don't get me wrong, I love the service industry. It teaches me empathy and humility. I know I'm not quite there yet so I really want to try. With God's grace anything is possilbe =)

Today's song is Don't Push Me Away. It was written for an ex-girlfriend unconvinced we should stay together. Looks like she was right after all haha.

Don't Push Me Away

Words and Lyrics by : Chen Yongzhi

Verse 1:

You don't like questions I ask them for you
I need a reason, need to talk it through
The gap is gaping but I won't fall through
After all I still love you

Prechorus:

You see in time what it's really like
And if you still want me by your side
I think it's worth a fight

Chorus:

You can say what you say but I know you'll learn someday
Don't push me away, don't push me away
After all's said and done, what if I am the one?
Baby, don't puch me away

Verse 2:

We can't always be two peas in a pod
I have bad days and I know you have yours
Knowing how happy we both can be
No one loves you like me

Bridge:

I'm just as unsure as you
But believe me when I say "I want to try to work it through"
Cos God gave you to me, you're all that I want and you are all that I need

All Rights Reserved 2006

As I have been unpacking my stuff, I came across many pieces of memorabilia given by friends and ex-lovers.

While reading through the stuff again makes me nostalgic and teary-eyed, it is extremly theraputic. It lets me examine the life that I have lived. It shows me what kind of person people perceive me to be.

I've decided to reassess who I am.

Who is Seth Chen Yongzhi?

1. I am a man of God

I want to represent that in my lifestyle. My words and actions are meant to please to God and my testimony is living faith.

2. I am a teacher

In my job, my ministries and interactions with others, I seek to teach, share ideas, debate, analyse situations and discuss circumstances with others for the purpose of educating others and learning more myself.

3. I am a musician

I live and breath music. I believe music has the noble purpose of connecting people and uniting them through emotions generated by the instruments and the words of the songs (if there are words). I believe music is a gift that must be used selflessly in worship and taught unconditionally. I enjoy song-writing. It is used by me to share thoughts, experiences and also emphatise with others. 

4. I am a manager and a leader of men and women

I strive to learn to understand how different people think and work to get the best out of them. By learning about others, I also learn about myself. That helps me to get the best out of myself. I believe God created everything to be governed by laws and logic. Every action must have a reason and a purpose. I lead by asking God to help me know Him more; He and His nature form the very fabric of the logics of this universe. Love and Grace counter Judgement and Death. I manage using the resources God has given me and lead using the character He has bestowed unto me. 

5. I am a friend

It is my hope that everyone and anyone, regardless of age who know me can be a friend. It is through friends where we encourage, motivate and to the non-christians, evangelise. I strive to be a friend who blesses and also appreciates blessings in his life.


I have decided to start another diary to record my thoughts and views on TTB issues. They will include overall design of TTB and also Music Ministry matters. My ideas are subjective and should be in no way taken or assumed to be 100% correct. This diary will not just be a record of my thoughts and views but also a justification of them (including my planning and my thought processes). 

The diary will not be for public viewing though. It shall be passed on to people I hope can learn from and also teach me something in their feedback to what I offer.

Today's song is something from a few years back. It's probably one of my more poetic songs. It's called When The Rain Falls.

When The Rain Falls

Words and Music by Chen Yongzhi

Verse 1:

Can you paint a broke heart
Framed with lines of disregard
Downcast skies with raging winds
Tells my story from deep within
Battlescars that still remain
From things that I have since refrained from
Mixed emotions but I'm fine
A piece of you will always be mine

Another sleepless night I sleep
Dreaming things I can't remember
Familiar aching seems so near
Yet appears to disappear
Memories I try to recall
The day you stepped out of the door
Like a book that once had seemed so precious
Now torn apart and burnt to ashes

Chorus:

When the rain falls down it always pours
When the tears roll down they never stop
Like a thunderstorm that never ends
I drown in your memories time and time again

Verse 2:

Used to waking up with a start
Used to sharing from my heart
Where I used to see your face
Has now become an empty space
No more loving sacrifice
No more feelings to disguise
It's hard to resist where we used to lie
Right underneath this velvet sky

All Rights Reserved 2003

I've been back at work, unpacking my stuff real slowly, and doing some church stuff. Anyone who wants to help me move the box from the back of my car to my house is welcome to.

Yipeng said he hopes Fish has been good for me. Well, Fish has definitely been good TO me haha. Maybe it's because I'm older, so they respect the elderly. But thanks guys, for providing me with a good place to be at on Saturday evenings.Beats KTVing and playing elsewhere. Bible study rocks harder than other things.

Today's song is something I wrote for ACJC's Arts Night. It's called If You Want To Rock (With Me)


If You Want To Rock (With Me)

Music and words : Chen Yongzhi

Verse 1:

C        
In the blink of an eye
    D  
You turn your gaze away
       C   
You've lost yourself in my caress
   D
Of words and melodies

Em  
  I want you to think of
        C
All the hurt you went through today
         D
When the dreams you had shattered one by one
C
Crying in dismay

Pre-chorus:

          Asus        C         
Now let's rise up and take this world from them
  Bm
Tonight forget all that has been
  C
Tonight it all begins

Chorus:

       Em      C         G    D  
If you want to rock with me tonight
        Em      C                G           D  
We will blaze a path and set the world alight
C          
 I don't want want to do this on my own
D
 I wanna sing with all my might
C
 I don't want to do this on my own
       D
I just want to rock with you tonight

Verse 2:

C
I don't know where to go
       D
How to keep on chasing rainbows
       C
How to keep everything under control
        D 
When my mind's going to blow

Em  
  I want you to think of
        C
All the hurt you went through today
         D
When the dreams you had shattered one by one
C
Crying in dismay

Chorus:

       Em      C         G    D  
If you want to rock with me tonight
        Em      C                G           D  
We will blaze a path and set the world alight
C          
 I don't want to get this over with
       D
I just want to rock with you

Pre-chorus:

          Asus        C         
Now let's rise up and take this world from them
  Bm
Tonight forget all that has been
  C
Tonight it all begins

Solo (Em C G D)

Bridge:

Do you want to rock, do you want to rock with me tonight?
Do you want to rock, do you want to rock with me tonight?
Do you want to rock, do you want to rock do you want to rock with me? (Tonight)

Chorus:

       Em      C         G    D  
If you want to rock with me tonight
        Em      C                G           D  
We will blaze a path and set the world alight
      Em      C         G    D  
If you want to rock with me tonight
        Em      C                G           D  
We will soar and set the world alight
C          
 I don't want to get this over with
D
 I wanna live out my life
C
 I don't want to get this over with
       D
I just want to rock with you tonight

All Rights Reserved 2008

It's not so much anything than unresolvedness that plagues me.

Believe me when I say I really do miss you. I miss the goofy look on your face, I miss the way you walk, your unglamess in many things and you sleeping in my car. I miss the random things you do, like circling food you want to eat in my foodie guide. I miss you rushing to carry my pool case as if it made you look really pro. I miss laughing with you and sometimes at you. 

Maybe I took you for granted. Probably I thought you would always be there. Somehow I believed that you wanted to be there. And I was willing to be there too. Well, I accept things quite easily, even though I would prefer to understand the reasons behind every decision, I've come to realise i cannot. 

Today's song is Butterflies. It's a inspirational song about love and friendship.


Butterflies

Words and Lyrics by : Chen Yongzhi

Capo 3rd fret

G  C  G  C

Verse 1:

G                                        
Watching the moon and the stars by the bay
C
Shimmering display
G
Cut by the shards of the winds in your heart
C
Hiding your dismay

G                                  
Don't back up too far against the wall
C
You can run but you can't hide
G
Caught in a landslide of memories and pain
C
Don't put out the flame inside

Chorus:

G
If you could never change I'll gladly lay my life down for it
C
When you cried, I tried, I've not forgotten
Em                               D                        
I can't do all the things that love songs always sing about
    C                D                      Em
But I'd still do anything just to see you smile

Em                             D                   
You said that butterflies are beatiful and they enchant you
C                            D           
Do you know that you're like that to me?
Em                              D                       
In a time I hope that won't be too far away for me to see
C                   D
Change my dreams into reality

Verse 2:

Walking along the sands of time drawing lines
Of your past
Pull out all the knives as you go by
All your life
I asked you what was your most favourite song
I've heard them all

I am back form Phuket!

First day there kena Songkran. For those who don't know, it is the Thai New Year. They spray and pour water on one another. Totally fun and awesome wetness haha.

Lots of shopping, some sightseeing, beachbumming, foodtasting, cultural show seeing, thai massaging. Really worth the money.

200 singapore dollars.

WHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway today's song is Starting Over New. It was written 2 years back after my breakup with another ex-girlfriend. It sounds considerably better than the other break-up song haha. Maybe the next time I break-up, the song I write will finally be an international hit.

Starting Over New

Music: Chen Yongzhi
Lyrics: Chen Yongzhi
Arrangement: Chen Yongzhi and Reiner Leong
Performed by: Barely Justified

Verse 1:

I walked a path that made me never the same
A way to heal all my heartache and pain
But there is nothing to heal if there's no pain

It's half past four and I'm not lying in bed
My body's asleep but my heart's playing with my head
"You'll never understand how I feel if you're not me"
Oh que sara sara, the future's not ours to see

Chorus:

I'm starting over new
A change in point of view to fit my circumstances
Drop my guard and my defenses

I'm trying not to feel
You know how much I miss you
But now I'm starting over new

Verse 2:

My body's fine but my heart feels the pain
No matter what I do, your doubts still remain
And there is nothing left for me on the other side
Cos this connection leads me somewhere I can't hide

Bridge:

Was I ever important to you, only you knew
Do you miss me?
Maybe just a little while, memories don't go that far
Could I have done something a little differently, so maybe we'll still be together
Now I've learnt to say never the word forever

All Rights Reserved

It's good that you're alive and kicking....even though your legs wouldn't manage to kick anything =)

Tomorrow is Phuket day. Going for a 3 day trip with my agency, courtesy of my boss. Hope it's going to be fun.

School today and then cell. I really kind of like school now. The modules are getting more interesting. 

I need to find out who I am soon. But it may be good that I'm starting to lose myself. Maybe it's meant to happen so God can take over and make me who He wants me to be.

Today's song is While You Were Sleeping. This one was written during army days too. Probably written for this girl called Sabrina. Sad thing is I don't really keep in touch with her anymore =( Hope you get to read this Sab.

While You Were Sleeping

Words and Lyrics by : Chen Yongzhi
Produced by : Poh Haikun

Verse 1:

Sometimes things just happen in the blink of an eye
I wonder if you're thinking about me
I feel for you so deeply yet pretend not to pine
Is this really worth a try?

Pre-Chorus:

Sometimes the nights just get too cold
Would I be the one you turn to hold?

Chorus:

While you were sleeping
The stars were shining for you
My silent resolution conceals how I feel
While you were sleeping
My world was spinning for you
I wish I could stay by your side
And tuck you into bed every night

Verse 2:

You say you don't care much
You don't look far ahead
It's ok, let's live just for today
I want to learn your yearnings
All your deepest desires
And live them out with you

Bridge:

Caught in a place where I can hardly breathe
With you alone I can't do anything
Without betraying what I feel about you
I try to lie to myself what I feel isn't real

All Rights Reserved 2001

Today was a much more structured day, compared to the previous week's events. Normacy kind of returned to my life a bit.

Shall go to school tomorrow. There's this dread inside me but I think my anticipation and excitement shall overshadow that.

Missed my dinner because I was so tired. Went over to my old house and wanted to take a nap. Ended up becoming a 6 hour nap. Had to rush home after waking up and finding that it was already midnight.

Today's song is called Say Goodnight. This one is fairly recent, written about last year.

Say Goodnight

Words: Chen Yongzhi
Music: Chen Yongzhi and Reiner Leong

Intro: C D Bm Em C D Bm Em

Verse 1:

C       D                 Em            Bm       
  Let me make believe that I can understand
C             D            Em                    B
  The complex chemistry the whole world tries to brand
C                           D                 
 They call it love and many other twisted lies
        Em                       Em       D              
You can let the situation go but memories never die
C                  D                        
 From the ashes, a phoenix will arise
    Bm                        Em
Whatever we know this moment will suffice
          C                               D
You could help me understand that sparkle in your eyes
          C                    A
And how eventually it leads to my demise

Chorus:

   C                  D
So take this kiss and say goodnight
          Em            
And we'll look up in the sky and take flight
C                           D               Em  D  Em  Bm
Through the clouds that embrace us at every shroud.
      C           D                    Em
We'll cry for the world below, for the couples we don't even know
        Am               Bm
With no love to give, no pattern to weave
        F                          Em  D   C           
in this beautiful tapestry that is you and me

Verse 2:
Let all the love songs fade into oblivion

Excuse me for a moment while I crash and burn

True sacrifice exists but also twisted lies

Beware of honey lips and sentimentally-charged goodbyes

For when the city sleeps our hero starts to cry

For when the city sleeps our hero wants to fly

He could fly through her dreams, that happiness once was found

Look around, where is it now?

Bridge:

Tell me what you see
In this pretty scene
Tell me what you see
Is it you and me?
Is it you?
Is it me?

All Rights Reserved 2007

When your parents and your friends have different lifestyles and different ways of thinking, you're kinda done for. I really want to make my parents happy, but at the same time their indifference towards my passions really damage my capacity to love them to a great extent.

There's a lot to say but I won't say it; simply because it's not really going to help anyway. What will help though is for my friends to understand I need to sleep early. It would also really help if you guys remind me constantly online. Please do not encourage me to do late night stuff. I love the night but it's time for me to sleep early and wake up early.

Today's song is called Friday Night. It's easily the most famous out of my songs (not that it's darn famous or anything, just more famous)

Friday Night

Music by Chen Yongzhi and Reiner Leong
Lyrics by Chen Yongzhi
Produced by Poh Haikun
Performed by Barely Justified

Intro:

Am  G   F

Verse 1:

     Am                   
Call me up on Friday night
         Em
Leave me waiting there for you
        F                C
For someone who's always there
        G              Am 
FOr the one that never comes

         Am                    
Cos it's you that comes to mind
           Em
You're the first one that I find
            F               C 
A long time after darkness falls
          G                Am 
I'm still waiting for your call

Chorus:

  C             G            F   
I wait for your voice in the dead of the dawn
             C          G            Am           F
So won't you sing me to sleep, me to sleep, me to sleep
  C            G               F
I barely realise I've come to depend on you
             C          G            Am           F                     
Your call is all that I need, that I need, that I need, that I need

Am  G   F
 

Verse 2:

Please don't leave me hanging here
After growing so on me
You break off a piece of me
Pieces no one ever sees

I always miss the ice-cream truck
I have always cursed my luck
        F              C
When it seems to be my turn
              F               E     
It's just the point of no return

Bridge:

F                             
  Wake up late and struck out early
Am       G         F            C
My clean slate has no need for worry
Am            F   C       G   F   G       
Contemplate a moment with me

All rights reserved
Barely Justified

Went to the office today, then pool with Yap, Gab, Abiel and Noel.

Left earlier than them to go to school. I was really tempted to not go but thank God I did. It's quite an interesting module, this Marketing Research.

I've realised I've nearly never had an entry with no typo error. I admit that I do not use spellcheck. I have challenged myself to have no typos in this entry without the use of spellcheck.

Anyway, my one song a day policy is going to continue today. Today's song is something i wrote back in my army days. It was written a week after my break-up with my then girlfriend.

Loving You

Words and Lyrics by : Chen Yongzhi

Verse 1:

When will my troubles go away
When will yesterday be today
Give me back those precious memories

Right now I'm living without air
A wondrous love while it was there
I can hardly remember anyway

Pre-chorus:

The cold hard truth has struck
I take the blow and fall
I'm hurt to the core
I gave my all
Now I don't know anymore

Chorus:

Loving you
Is the hardest thing to do
The tears that bleed from my heart
Will carry me through

Losing you
I lost a part of me
Like a tidal wave crashing onto
A love-stricken fool
Loving you

Verse 2:

How I wish I could stall
A time when you were my all
I feel the pain inside again and again

All Rights Reserved
Chen Yongzhi 2003

I've just  finsihed off marathon of exams, house-moving and a funeral.

Add friend problems to that list and you've got a cocktail for disaster.

I am so emotionally drained it's not even funny.

Thank God for good friends and a good boss. Seriously I need to start working again.

I've decided to post song lyrics of songs I've written over the years. If anyone is interested in finding out what they sound like, please feel free to leave a comment.

This is my newest composition: With Us

Words: Chen Yongzhi
Music: Chen Yongzhi

Verse 1:

Spoke with you one day about
The things for which we die
The things for which we die for aren't impressive in your eyes

You said that there was one thing
That will surely make you cry
A song was all you needed
To make you satisfied

Chorus:

I'll go the distance
Will you stay with me?
With me, with me, with all of me

And if you ever need me
I will be here
With you, with you till the very last

With me, with you, with us

Verse 2:

My frozen heart is warmed
Whenever I hold you close
I need you by my side
The you I love the most

There are some promises
That won't materialise
But I mean every word I say
Can you see it in my eyes?

Bridge:

Tell me something beautiful
Is there someplace that flowers never cease to bloom?
Tell you something beautiful
There is nothing more beautiful than you

All Rights Reserved 2008

My world is crashing down around me
I'm losing hope fast
The feeling is surreal
When dreams turn to dust

My God has not forsaken me
In fact He's right here
Lord send someone to comfort me
Someone I hold dear

My belief is still strong
Even as I ask why
As my world crumbles around me
I feel like I can die

Dying is good
Because I'm tired of living this way
Die to live again
Rebel to obey

If my life doesn't turn around
If my vision starts to fail
My steps may start to falter
But I will never yield

I have fallen down
Now build myself back up
My hope is in the Lord
The ever flowing cup

I've let others down
We end up being square
But I will learn to be better
Accept that life isn't fair

I don't want fairness anyway
It'll doom me straight to hell
Grace leaves no condemnation
The power of sin that fell

More hard days ahead
More battles to fight
The race goes on and on
Even through the night

My friends who act like lights
That shine a path for me
I hope I shine too brightly
In their lifes I'll ever be

Seth